977. Amma, Why A Beggar In The Throne Of A Queen? Poem by Raman Savithiri

Amma, Why a beggar in the throne of a Queen?

It was told You would visit any devotee’s home,
Who is really pure minded.

Though I knew I would fall only at the end of devotees’ line,
I could not control my greediness to
Have Your magnificent feet touching my home too.

I woke up unusually earlier that day,
Cleaned each nook and corner of my little home;
Decorated the entrance with colourful patterns;
Lit the lamp which symbolizes Your presence;
Added scent sticks also to welcome You.

With devotional songs in my lips;
With lingering happiness in heart;
With day dreams in my mind;
I prepared a sacred sweet pongal for You,
With overflowing love, in plenty.

I arranged carefully a seat for You to sit;
Kept a glowing golden plate.
Then I waited for Your arrival,
As a loving wife would wait for husband’s return;
As a dear mother would wait for her child from school.

Time passed.
I waited to hear Your jingling anklets;
Waited to have Your darshan in a radiant silk;
Waited to see Your beaming face.

But there appeared a beggar,
With weary feet touching the colourful patterns,
In muddy and grubby robes,
With gloomy face and weak cry ‘Amma! ’

With a reluctant heart,
I permitted him to take the seat decorated for You,
I gave the sacred pongal prepared for You,
In the golden plate kept for You,
To his unwashed hand for days together.

He relished and went away … but,
Till today I do not know,
Why didn’t You appear in a form as I expected!
Till today I do not know,
Was that You only came in beggar role!
I convince myself that, that was You only,
Lest, who would sooth the pain of collapsed expectations?

(One wished to become a sanyasin,
But, turned to be a householder!)