A Beastly Affair Poem by Thomas Vaughan Jones

The rain came down for forty days,
as God had said it would.
So Noah built a little ship
Of fibre glass and wood.

He called out to the animals
and welcomed them aboard,
except for the duck billed dongeree-doo
(For somebody said he snored)

The water rose in massive waves,
the skies were dark and grey.
The torrents seized the little ship
and carried it away.

The people left upon the shore
began to wail and weep,
except for the duck billed dongeree-doo,
for he was fast asleep.

The maelstrom wreaked its havoc,
all of the people drowned.
Even the duck billed dongeree-doo,
who died without a sound.

Then when the flood was over,
the ark was safe and dry.
All of the animals landed,
then one began to cry.

So Noah said, quite crossly,
'What on earth is the matter with you? '
and the creature said in a tearful voice,
'I'm a duck billed dongeree-doo!

There's nobody left to love me,
no one to call my own.
I must live on in solitude,
spending my life alone.'

Which is why, my dear children,
if you ever go down to the zoo,
it's so sad I fear, but you'll never hear
of a duck billed dongeree-doo.