A Complaint From Underwear Poem by Teacher Kevin

Hello, my dear wearer—it's me down below,
Your loyal old underwear. Thought you should know…
We need to have words. Don't panic, don't shout—
It's just about hygiene. Let's talk it out.

I show up each morning, stretchy and brave,
Ready to serve, to protect, and behave.
But sometimes by noon I begin to regret
The life choices made since the day that we met.

You shower, yes—but let's be sincere,
Some places get skipped. I can tell from down here.
A splash and a spin is not quite enough
When certain small areas are… seriously tough.

There's a place in the back—yes, that secret zone—
That needs proper cleaning. It can't clean alone.
A little more soap, a careful rinse too,
Would save both of us from a tragedy—phew!

And then there's the front, that warm little space
Where sweat likes to gather and throw a party in place.
Hair is not evil, let's make that clear—
But washing it daily? Now that's a cheer!

I'm just simple cotton, not magic or steel,
I cannot erase what I sadly must feel.
When hygiene is lazy and shortcuts are taken,
My bright future dreams are quickly… mistaken.

You brush your teeth twice, you comb through your hair,
You choose matching shoes with excellent flair.
But please don't forget what's closest to me—
Clean skin down below equals happy briefs!

Good hygiene means confidence, fresh and bright,
No awkward moments in class or at night.
It keeps you healthy, comfortable too—
And makes life much better for both me and you.

So wash with care, don't rush, don't flee,
Use soap and warm water generously.
Front and back—yes, both deserve fame.
Cleaning them well is not a shame!

Do it for health, do it for pride,
Do it for comfort on your inside.
And I will happily hug you each day,
Fresh, fearless, and odor-free—hooray!

Yours sincerely (with elastic grace) ,
The Underwear That Just Wants a Clean Workplace.