A Confession Poem by Vimal Gopalakrishna Pillai

I knew you,
from time eternal
Long before we met
Even before the dreams surfaced
Before the rains started and
flowers began to blossom..

We were together and we were happy
You loved me with all your innocence,
and heartfelt affection
You were smiling..

Then I moved away
with the sudden influx
of selfish desires
Hiding myself in commitments,
I deserted you; even after knowing you
And you were left alone,
in the hell of loneliness

You were sad,
you wept in darkness
You confined into the world of
bliss full solitude
You longed for love,
and I closed my eyes

You walked in the rain,
to hide your tears
You smiled in pain
to keep others happy..
You craved for love,
and I kept walking away..

Your heart was clean and immense,
to love the whole world
You were there, always,
to wipe the tears of others
Yet, you desired for a shoulder
to lean over and cry..
And I stood as a complete stranger

Your notes were fire,
But your words were kind and wet
To cover me from perpetual ablaze
Otherwise, i would have been ashes

My desires kept me isolated,
Wandering in the heat of madness,
Quivering and sweating...
Then they busted,
like small bubbles in the sea
I collapsed, imminent fall of
shooting star...
My eyes clear and open,
in the stunning crash...

Now i know you, like my soul
Because you were none different
Now I realize, I am incomplete without you
I am incapable without you
The spirit that keep me going
You were me and we were one
I have seen you, now I realize,
from the day i started seeing myself...

How long it will take, i don't know,
to get back to you..
How many more births, yet again,
of thanksgiving..
Before my soul embraces yours
And we fades away in eternal bliss..
And unites in eternal happiness....