A Fish In The Waterfall Poem by Pahridin Qarluq

A raining night,
I took off my public face,  stepped into my private room
searching my vein for my personality and pride
I feel neither boiling nor frozen blood, only the electric current
A heavy weight at an empty soul, traded to sacrifice or survive

I went to the window
Wanting to see my mom, dad, and brother
Whom took over the colour of existence
I can't remember what's the smile of heart
I can't remember what's the restful night
But I am still seeing the sky, river, flowers and sands
Although everything is foggy, black and white…

I start to pray for my individuality
There only me and the Lord
Who alone gave me the power to stand and rise 
I yelled out my passion from the depth of my soul...
But I couldn't find the symphony of my life
A meaningful reason to face my Lord,
My value in the time of the second round

A huge wall of stones…
And I - a stranger outside the wall...
A strange fish who migrates  
With no passion, no soul, no veins or blood….
But only with the wish for forgiveness 
I'm still alive without knowing the reason
Still awaiting an eternal period….

O my individuality…..
What I feel is not the rain
I'm so thirsty, chapped and I might wither
But I'm in the waterfall above an upcoming drain…
Ruthless time and space, the trueness of second round...
I couldn't find my tears to drink because they are also frozen 

O my Lord,
I'm so cold and I might be frostbitten…
But I won't warm up with fire…
Waterfall to cleanse my sinned pains…
Me - an electric fish to spin
Climbing in the waterfall to be higher forgiven 
While the twisted spring remains
I really want to see them all in heaven 
I'm so tired here with weepings forbidden 

I both wish and worry the spring will wake me up,
I'm still seeking my vein in the raining night….