A Jar Full Of Razors Poem by courtney metcalf

A jar full of razors
My roommate keeps
For her gardening downstairs,
Above the kitchen sink
Her jar full of release
Would cancel my jar full of misery
I would be gone,
And I would take all of my problems with me
A call from my mother saying not to move back
Twelve hours away isn't far enough to her yet
A five minute weekly phone call
My only company
My father who claims to regret staying away from me my whole life
But still claims to love me
But some love comes a little too late
Maybe you always did,
But you didn't show it very great
I don't want you to sit in prison
Rotting with these thoughts in your head
That you could have took your second chance and did better than you did
Because it wasn't just you
But a serious of events
That led me to torturing sick thoughts
And living through those nightmares as a kid
Memories that shaped me into being so troubled
That no one could understand me
My explanations turned to mumbles
Cut off by people who weren't really listening
Just judging and judging things they were not getting
This is a life you can't understand
Until you've been too damaged to ever remend
You won't get us
And we can't help you
Many end their lives
Due to this hell that seems to continue
We're so messed up,
It didn't even take a drug of choice
Just the chemicals in our brain
That gave our negative emotions a stronger voice