A Look At Life-113 Poem by Smrui Ranjan Mohanty

A LOOK AT LIFE-113
BY-SMRUTI RANJAN MOHANTY

FROM NOTHING TO NOTHING

I know not
Why I sometimes feel
Life is pain infinite
Searching for something noneexisting
An exercise futile
A venture sad and pathetic

I do not know
Why sometimes I think
Life is a misadventure
Never understood
A foregone conclusion
Accepted as a sad reality
A journey in the void
An endeavour wasted

I know not
What lets me live
When I know I am living for nothing
With nothing to accomplish
Why I am living in a relationship
When all relationships are for a period of time
Either they will leave me
Or I will leave them
Adding more sorrow and misery
To an already miserable life.
Probably life is waiting for that dark night
After which there will be no sunshine

I have seen them leaving me one by one
My father, my grandfather,
My friends young and old and all
Who lovedme and whom I loved
They lived, endured and left
With tears in eyes and desires unfulfilled
Hopes shattered and dreams unrealised
Behind their smile, I have seen their tears
Apathy and frustration
A life lived under the shadow of death.
I witnessed all these as a mute spectator
I often ask me
Is life a poignant tragedy

I ask me
Am I living for that pathetic reality?
The great departure
To leave the game when I am fully engrossed.
Life is less smile and more of tears
Happiness is a little breather
Where sorrow is one's constant companion
Then why I am here
When nothing seems to be in my favour

Am I here
Is it because of some compulsion
An accident or something else
I do not know
I do not understand
Why so much suffering and planing inthe present
For a future never in vision
When one does not know
Whether there is any tomorrow

I do not know
How I am rejoicing and
Relishing the present
Knowing well
I am heading towards a dead end
Beyond which there is only darkness.

What is that life
Where death looms large
One does not know
How and when it will come
In the grip of death
I strive for that nothing
Which keeps me going
In the midst of grief and agony
I breathe and live for nothing
I love and die for that nothing
Life is a journey from nothing to nothing

I know not
Why sometimes I feel
Life is God's blessing
Captivating and worth living
I respect and adore it
Lose me in its spellbinding beauty
But sometimes I feel
If it is an accident and
I regret being here for nothing.

Smruti Ranjan Mohanty©