A New Start? Poem by kintona sagara

where is it?
it was by my side
for the longest time it was
when life threw me dirt
optimistic made it look like gold
but i need it now, i can't find it
i'm drowning in a sea of tears
choking on broken hopes and dreams
franticly searching for some kind of aid
a helping hand a warm embrace
saying everything will be okay
life will get better and it's just a dream
he wont leave, you're his life his everything
but it's not there, it's an illusion
only vast darkness and bone chilling water
and my screams for what isn't there
i could close my eyes and just stop
or i could keep swimming
to the open hand
of my new hopes and dreams
shining a new light
on what life could be for me