A Sermon For Struggling Monks Poem by Jacob Coleman

'Count it all joy when women revile you,
For God knows what a cute wave of the hand,
A girly smile, sudden hunger can do.
You have heard not to stand on shifting sand,
Particularly son, those “bare” beaches
Some of the younger monks say are good
For contemplation (eyes round as leeches) .
Celibacy, perfectly understood,
Is bachelor pride in its finest form:
A life sanctified from purses and shoes,
The sins of Wal-Mart! What blessed reform!
Understand though the Lord will let you choose,
And whether that choice proves daunting or not
Depends on your definition of hot! '