About Refusal Poem by BASAB CHAUDHURI

I thought of writing a letter to you -
but I didn't write.
My love, my anger, frustrations,
you name it and they were all mine -
kept in a vault for how many years
I can't count.
Visuvius in my heart, I was cheerful.
When you asked me whether I was lonely,
I burst out in laughter, and what did I say:
Jo, you don't know how happy I am!
The Niagra fills my heart, the mist my eyes,
And the cherry blossom my delight.
I saw fear in your eyes in my laughter.
You wanted me to cry, to weep, to pour all my frustrations upon....
Upon...
I refused to break down,
I refuse to break down....
You are afraid of my joyful frustrations,
And there I conquer,
I refuse -
And I know you can't accept my refusal.
Face to face, I stand alone -
the Niagra throws mist at me, and I stare.