Accumulating Good Sense - Poem by Hollie Getter
The voice i wake with is the same with which i recall the days past, the same i lecture with, listen too, hear truths behind, and contemplate trust within. My voice is exactly as it should be. I’ve been sick the past month with pnemonia and though i have found myself a hermit, and my throat to sore, my chest too hollow and shakey to speak, i have been talking non-stop. What am i saying? The same things i always say. Desires make themselves present, complications within my relationships turn cartwheels in my head and while i ponder initiative action, i feel summer around the bend, feel time in the cracks of my too dry hands-coming and going and staying and sitting and moving and stopping and never ever starting... Life is....funny. I in my 23 years of wisdom can suddenly sit back and recognize my mother, my father, my sisters, the words instilled, the words that took seasonal affect and the ones that will stay with me a lifetime. Someone called me stupid once. Someone called me ugly once. Someone called me young, beautiful, funny, charming, classy, crazy, strong-willed, liar, hypocrite, lunatic, artistic, quiet, loud, fast, gentle, smart, aggressive, dramatic... So much to reflect on. So much telling me who i have been, charting the territories between then and now and i am so greatful for all i have been, for all i am. I have come into my own in a way that enables me to see others for who they are. The wagon is shaky and i am bound to fall off but the knowledge imparted while riding will and has thus far, forever taken it’s toll.
These are the young days. Slow days. Everybody needs to know days. These are the years building up to the day we die, and the only thing we’ll know is the time. I want to sit by the sea feel the wind and be free from the burdens of a day when i cared. Life consults with me, turning me in to who i’ll be, teaching me nothing is worth anything but being here.
My chest quakes randomly and i picture myself healthy on the beach in a bikini. I picture my skin tanned and warm and glowing, and I can feel the suns rays massaging the places that always hurt in the cold, and i can taste sugar-snap peas, and barbeque sauce and corn on the cob and watermelon. I can hear laughing, feel grass under my toes, my nephews hand in mine as we run like maniacs through the yards i grew up in. I can smell, my neices shampoo in her little hoo-hoo’s (pigtails) i can see my sisters taste in a diamond ring, feel the heart beat of my family when it’s not too late at night, and we’re all together on my mothers couch.
Life is a process of accumulation. What you accumulate you take with you. This very concept is the one i just heard myself say today. For too long I’ve worried. Carried with me burdens some not even mine. For too long i have accumulated junk emotion, junk sense, junk junk, and i am ready to be rid of all the things that i don’t want. Like negativity. Stay away from me negatives. All things are possible if you open the slots.
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