Acrimony Poem by Alexander Onoja

Why I'm I so unlucky?
I fell in love with a cemetery guard.
It's not like I cared about his profession,
But why must he smell of rot,
And always claim what he's not.
Whenever I catch him cheating,
He'll apologise bearing gifts.
The first gift he gave me was a diamond ring,
It sparkled bright, but I wish his teeth would do the same. Next he gave me a pair of shoes,
That was extra large.
I thought he knew my shoe sizes,
I've sang it to him like an anthem.
But it was so beautiful I took it without complaining.
He knew he didn't have to gift me nothing,
For I knew he didn't have much,
And I knew most men cheat,
Plus I wasn't the demanding type.
Still he got me a red short dress,
I had to wash and spray before using.
He proposed and I said yes as he gifted me a flower.
It smelled nice.
I decided to add water and aspirin,
To give them a little boost and make them last longer.
Then I discovered it had a card in it which read;
*"This is from Andy and Joe, the two you left behind. Rest in peace Mother"*
It took me 10 seconds before I could breath.
I couldn't believe he has been giving me gifts he stole.
Gifts he stole from the cemetery.
Now I dare you to judge me for pulling the trigger.