Lolita Hiroshi

%%afraid%%

Hide behind a smile, no one knows I’m in pain
I lie awake, thinking of all the things i could do to make it go away
No one knows, no one asks
I hide behind the smiling mask

Try to find a way out, it wears me out
Try to forget, try to forgive
But I can’t find a way to forget
How can I forgive the fucking shit he did to me?

Was it my fault? Was I wearing a sign that said “you can do me”?
Afraid to sleep, afraid to be happy
Afraid.
Afraid to do anything, all because of you

How could you do this?
Why? ! ? !
I lie awake night, after night
Thinking of an excuse
No matter what, you're still there
Haunting my dreams, cant get any sleep
Want you out!

Feel you, deep inside of me
How could you do this? ! ? !
I was still a baby! ! !

Now im afraid to fall sleep
The nightmares keep me awake
Disgusted of myself
I can no longer go on

Poem Submitted: Sunday, April 8, 2007
Poem Edited: Saturday, February 12, 2011

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Comments about %%afraid%% by Lolita Hiroshi

  • Mandi Ducroq (4/20/2007 4:09:00 AM)

    You cannot forget... never, but you do learn to go on.. You must forgive - you must forgive yourself... You were NOT to blame... you were NOT wearing a sign... none of it is your fault - you are a beautiful, wonderful person, don't let someone convince you otherwise...use your writing to get it out, to make a difference

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  • Dark Angel morales (4/12/2007 3:27:00 PM)

    *o*- our pain is so alike. can't forgive can't forget forever in pain we seem to stay. T.Q.R.M. prima.

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