Always Poem by Saharah Rane

Always

Rating: 4.7


Lets go home.
Lets fly away.
Lets make breakfast.
Breakfast to stay.
Lets stuff the drawers.
And closets.
And cupboards.
With things that we need to restock on.
Lets make the bed.
Every morning.
Lets hang paintings.
And pictures.
Of pretty places.
Lets lit the fireplace with a burning fire.
Lets spend our summer, winter, spring, and fall days.
Together.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
R. H. Peat 25 January 2012

A few things to think on Ms Rane. (let's) means (let us) . Cut the word -on, in -restock on - it's not needed; it is understood and the poem will have more character. Put - and pictures, pretty places. - on the same line to intensify the concept with the reality of the situation. Then you have a past tense verb that needs to be present tense because the complete poem is in present tense - let's light the fireplace with burning logs. Fire is what takes place to what burns so it in itself can't burn. Fire is what burns something else be it rags or riches, or just come sense wood. Great concept within the poem, all the way through, which makes this an exquisite and a beautiful bit of writing. Just polish it up a bit.

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Saharah Rane

Saharah Rane

Macao, China
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