And My Last Bye, O Love! Poem by Khalil Gabol

I loved you like the dawn loves the night —
completely, quietly,
knowing it must end
for the world to have light.

I was not a man of lies,
no blade hidden in my smile,
I simply stood before your sky
and knew —
I was not tall enough
to hold it.

So I left.
Not with anger,
not with the comfort of a reason
you could hate me for —
just with the unbearable knowledge
that staying
would slowly teach you
what disappointment
looks like
wearing love's face.

I packed nothing my love!
You cannot pack
what lives in the chest.

I left the city first,
then the streets,
then the habit of looking up
at windows
wondering which light
was yours.

Some nights I almost turned back
God —
some nights I almost turned back.
But I knew myself
too honestly
for that mercy.

They say cowards run.
Maybe.

But I have seen what I become
when I am near you —
something reaching,
something desperate,
something that would promise you mountains
and hand you
stones.

Weakness, yes.
But a weakness
that loved you enough
to carry itself
away from you.

I will not see you again.
I have made that
a discipline,
a religion,
a quiet vow
I renew
every morning.

Because I know —
one glance.
Just one.
And all this noble leaving
would collapse
like it was nothing,
like it was paper,
like I never meant
a single word of it.

So I guard your life
with my absence.

It is the only worthy thing
I have left
to give you.

Somewhere you are living
a life that deserves you.

Somewhere someone stands beside you
like a wall that never cracks,
like a sky that never asks
too much of the earth beneath it.

I do not know his face.
But I am grateful for him
in ways he will never understand.

And me?
I carry you
the way the sea carries
the memory of every shore
it has ever touched —
always moving,
never forgetting,
never returning.
I will love you
for the rest of a life
you will never see.
And on the last day,
when everything falls quiet,
I think I will smile —
knowing you are somewhere
whole,
and it cost me everything,
and it was
worth it.