Anorexia - It's All My Fault Poem by amapola poppy

Nothing works
I make everything worse
Plans of recovery
Turned to plans of how to lie successfully
How to hide
How to starve and disappear
I want to talk
But I'm afraid to be a burden
I AM a burden
Everyone's life is made worse by me
It's always me
Starving should be my speciality
I can't even do that right
Nothing will ever be right
I know I'll never be happy
Not until this fat is taken from my body
This disgusting flesh
So I did what is right
I chose to suffer
To punish myself for my mistakes
I didn't know there'd be no escape
I'm sorry you have to be around me
I am nothing
I want to feel nothing
A stomach as empty as my heart
As empty as my plate
For dinner I devour my sorrow
And gorge on my lies for dessert
No calories means no guilt
Only guilt from my constant deceit
It's my natural state
If I wasn't such an awful person
Maybe I would be worthy of saving
Or maybe worthy enough to eat?
All the pills
The promises
The interventions
Nothing will ever work
I just keep making things worse