"Tucson Ron"

Tucson, Arizona
Thursday, January 2, 2003


Rating: 2.1
The dusk coming forth
Set to rest, the suns strength;
Fielded saguaros in silhouette,
Catch broken rods length. The door is revolved,
Now dimmed to the sight;
Within coolness of land
Cries sounds of the night. And I lay, and just watch,
Stars breathe on my soul;
So far, yet so near,
This place I now know...
"Tucson Ron"
Cathy Hutson 12 March 2005
I like your poem and have a couple things to suggest if you're interested: instead of using the periods for your longer lines (4 & 7) , try using dashes; and try out 'This place I know' - taking out 'now'; and leave the word 'Arizona' off the end - the reader already knows this from the title, and I think your ending would be stronger without it.
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