Artists Dream Poem by Charles Tiffin Clegg

Sleeping deep a vision came
of luminescent green
an oval egg just perfect
in the center of the scene
A picture on the wall of life
a very serious scene
Beauty painful quite intense
I could never paint like that
My mind and hand just won't
to make that beauty be alive
I hate the truth about myself
what I don't possess
the greatness of the masters
or the colors some can paint.
Others are possessing talent
a genius I don't have
I can see it, feel it, sense it
but its locked inside my soul
like heaven for autistics
Seen yet not perceived at all


The picture is clear and painful
its sits there in the dream.
It came from long ago
shortly after my first cry
I lay there in my crib alone
my mom could come and go
and I could only cry
she talked and it had meaning
she was strong beyond belief
and standing there she hurt me
I could not stand or walk alone
She picked me up with ease
A goddess Aphrodite
but not at all me
I loved that simple motion
for her an easy act
but all this was torture too
for a little helpless being
But I knew I could get around
just fly from wall to wall
I just had not practiced it
or done it for awhile


Here comes the food,
a bottle warmed
now how had she done that?
Later she grew real fat
my brother on the way
I knew I'd met my match
I'd never even dreamed of that
I was on the ropes
suffering my pain
about all the things I could'nt do
her superiority was torture
but soon I'd learn to climb
get out and drive her wild
worry was her weakness
For me it's only play
See I'll be strong
and she''l be weak
Victory will be mine
and very busy on the go
I'll have it every day

Now I know the egg on green
tells the truth to me
I hate the women
eggs and all yet love them ambivalently
I'm really green, my envy hanging
A painting on the wall
Then I felt a little better
and a little worse
I understood my envy
of a women giving life
so I became a painter
and simply failed another time
those eggs they persecute me
I can't produce enough
Envy always haunts me
That picture will pursue me
through all remaining days
An 'Y' not 'X' is in me
I failed, what can I say

Tif