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Assiduous Empathy

Rating: 3.6
my assiduous empathy
is a cartographer of quintessence

recording, in turn,
everyone of luminescence

the freaks, the geeks and
the passionate creators

the flawed, from abroad and
the erstwhile dictators
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COMMENTS
K Holoholo 05 November 2007
I understand where it is going but, I got lost in it
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Kath Moore 05 November 2007
6. Works better than some of the others. It just needs more concrete imagery to balance out the wordplay elements (which are fine, just not enough on their own.) By now you should be noticing a pattern in my comments. Poems convey experience. Imagery is how experience is conveyed - specifically, concrete, striking, and original details.
1 0 Reply
Brian Beek 05 November 2007
I like the rhythm of it, especially after the first time I read it it seemed to really move well.
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Donna Robertson 03 August 2007
I like this one, its funny and yet makes you think too.
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