At Such Time’s As My Depression… Poem by John Tansey

At Such Time’s as My Depression…
You are my Manatee

It is as the moon, passing,
Into its new phase, then disappearing.
This is the mood I am steeped in,

When my heart, like stone,
Heavy from the memories
Of all I have buried there…

Slips from its grave stone,
Sinking, swiftly,
Down to the ocean’s bottom.

Surpassing the depth
Where, even, sunlight
Stops, turns, and diffused,
Breaks rank, back to the surface.

Leaving me to plummet the final mile
Alone, in stark darkness;
Finally crashing, at bedrock bottom,
broke and bed-ridden;

Where the oxygen is scarce
And hallucinations thrive.
It is here, through shallow breathing,
That I swear I see you:

Robed in white, with a smile
Wide, as a child’s open arms,
Deep longing eyes, and a mane
Of black, silken hair,

Reposed in your worldly sadness.
And your ancient, ethnic eyes:
A beacon, bright, like the full moon,
That, alone, holds up a starless sky.

At first, I thought you a Manatee
Of old world sailors,
When many years ago and too long out at sea,


First saw as a Mermaid,
For the memory of a girl they left behind
On the shore, weeping and waving good-bye.

It doubles me over with grief
To think your heart is as
heavy-ladened as mine;
To have plunged you
To such abysmal depths as me,

But we have always known this,
Both being conjoined at the soul;
It is the bittersweet melancholy
That allows us to feel this deeply
And experience each moment so fully

So, in my darkest days, my head bowed,
I should know to simply look up
And that I will always see you there.

But the quantum wormhole between us collapses,
Quick, look out your window, through the night air,
Up at the full moon,
It is no more but a mirror
Put in the doorway between two rooms;

We will always see each other up there,
Just like two children with a string and two tin cans…


John Tansey 12.12.08


Copyright ©2008 John Thomas Tansey