At The Tourist Shoppie (Scots) Poem by Sheena Blackhall

There's a wee fridge magnet Scotty
There's a postcaird frae Dunoon
There's a calendar o castles
Frae Loch Ness tae Embro toun

There's a heeze o bagpipe cds
Fiddlers, clarsachs, Gaelic mods
There are miniatures o fusky
The Ambrosia o the Gods

There are sticks o rock frae Glesga
There's Oor Willie on his pail
There are Heilan coos an parritch
Arran sweaters fur the Gael

Wid ye like a Cairngorm
Or a swanky sgian dubh
Or shorbreid, or tinned haggis
Or a can o irn bru?
Wid ye fancy Forfar bridie
Rabbie Burns on a dishcloot
A pair o tartan panties
Or a Viking warrior suit?

Can we interest ye in clapshot
Will ye book a waukin toor
Is yer midgie spray nae wirkin?
Here's a poncho for a shooer!

O we're aa Jock Thampson's bairns here
Fur yer tourist siller's nott
Tae keep wheels o commerce turnin
An Auld Scotia's boat afloat