Augoeides. Comments

Great! A very powerful but personal analysis of a still more personal experience, a relationship. Rendered with extraordinary brevity. Sparkling images. Top score

Well, that is how it appears to me, appears to be how you produced many if the lines/verses in your poem. You, however, know the truth of the matter as to your composition of this poem.

In reading and then rereading this poem, I realized that you progressively worked through different word combinations to produce phrases/images suggestive of the emotions you are experiencing/experienced in your relationship.