Better Than You - Poem by Lyndsey Grant
If you don’t want me
I will find better than you
Better than black and blued words that rotted with me once,
Soft dripping daggers that pierced fleshened heart.
How quick you were to discard anything other than beauty.
How urgent and steadfast did you carry disregard, for I, the disregarded.
And so I dragged, chain clad hope, attached to you.
Buried deep into the sands of broken promise,
Never made, but kept alone in secret.
If all it took was everything
I would have gave it willingly
Without a fight
Without a single word
I would have mapped out the universes mysteries
Through the iris of my eye.
I could have shown the heavens celestial serenity
Through wet soft lips.
I would have gave it all,
Every ounce of ruby red blood
Thick with life
You wouldn’t have it
Couldn’t see through a vision fogged by ideals and fantasies
Too many shortcomings
Diluted any truth,
Made it milky white and toxic.
Perhaps, the smell of uncertainty was too vile,
Or the feelings too raw it turned to poison.
Perhaps, it was never you, and always me.
Perhaps, we were never meant to be more than a puddles ripple.
I am done,
I have cried a thousand deaths,
Slit wrist and cut throat,
Whipped bare back canned scorn,
I have gouged purpose,
Only to mold a cracked attempt of something,
Anything, that held some form of a reason.
And still I am left
All alone, with no truths or meanings.
I am done,
If you don’t want me anymore,
I can, and I will,
Find better than you.
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