Bloodline ***** Exploring Laparatomy And The Guilt Poem by Rommel Mark Dominguez Marchan

for sis IC after her appendicitis operation ca.1996

Wasn't it at St. Therese Hospital papa drove you first with our once-owned elf baby truck? then half an hour later, we transferred you in Oroquieta Provincial Hospital for a resident surgeon of yours for
unexplored operational surgery

I recalled, you were wailing with undetected yet pain
you were too young as pre-schooler child innocent yet
in meeting fearful hospital pharaphernalias
melted with x-ray radiation, CPR, blood letting needles
too young yet to be pumped by oxygen breathing aid
you were groaning and untouchable
mama's kiss turned into grief

what was your Dr. Uy say?
he will explore your laparatomy

it was a nightmare experience looking for blood donor
and everything to save your life
i couldn't hold tears rolled in cheeks while reading your name
in blue board listed as next patient to be taken inside
cavernous door in operating room

my heart was too chicken- hearted
to wait for your thrilling recovery
since i had aborted my kuya's responsibilites by heading on
for untimely Cebu vacation

i had feeling of guilt as I escaped that very evening
and it grown more when i went back home
i saw how strong you were, gaining childish strength again

i don't want to know every now and then the missing days of my presence during your full recovery periods
it just adds feeling of guilt