Book I: The Hero Vs. The Alarm Clock mock Epic: The Siege Of Dawn Poem by ashok jadhav

Book I: The Hero vs. the Alarm Clock
Mock Epic: The Siege of Dawn
Sing, O Morning, herald of relentless alarms,
Of Heroes dragged from dream's enchanted halls,
By the fearsome Alarm Clock, tyrant of Time,
Whose shrill cry pierces the soft veil of night.
Behold the Mortal, tangled in blankets like a dragon's lair,
Arms flailing, groaning, striking at the metal beast.
Each "Snooze" button pressed is a battle won,
Yet the foe returns with unyielding fury.
Coffee, potion of courage, waits like Elixir of Olympus,
While the Hero staggers toward day's uncertain wars.
Even gods of Sleep sigh in pity,
Watching mortals wrestle with shrieking bells.
Yet victory is fleeting: dawn marches onward,
And the Hero must rise, battered but alive,
To face the endless odyssey of Modern Life.
Book II: The Quest for Wi-Fi
Mock Epic: The Invisible River
Sing, O Router, mighty river of invisible power,
Of Heroes seeking the sacred Wi-Fi signal.
They wander through halls, offices, cafes,
Phones and laptops raised like swords to the sky.
Dead zones loom as deserts of despair,
Packets of data vanish into the void,
And connectivity flickers like a capricious flame.
The Hero mounts chairs, shifts positions, pleads with gods of signal,
Until at last, a bar rises, full and triumphant—
Victory, sweet as ambrosia, flows through streaming veins.
Yet beware, mortal! The next scroll, the next upload,
May summon Lag, monstrous, cruel, unstoppable,
And the Quest begins anew, eternal and absurd.
Book III: The Labyrinth of Public Transport
Mock Epic: The Chariot of Crowds
Sing, O Bus, O Metro, O endless traffic,
Of Heroes wedged in sardine chariots,
Where schedules are riddles, delays monsters,
And fellow passengers adversaries unknown.
The Hero navigates turnstiles like gates of Hades,
Dodges smartphones, bags, and elbows like deadly spears.
Announcements roar, cryptic and mocking,
While footsteps, footsteps, march on endless concrete paths.
Yet patience, the armor of the mortal soul, prevails,
As the Chariot arrives, doors open, and the Hero survives—
A conqueror of crowds, a master of timetables.
Book IV: The Battle with Online Shopping
Mock Epic: The Siege of the Cart
Sing, O Credit Card, mighty talisman of temptation,
Of Heroes lured into the labyrinth of Online Shops.
Click by click, treasures amassed, carts overflow,
Yet each checkout page is guarded by dragons:
Shipping Fees, Error Messages, Forgotten Coupons.
The Hero hesitates, debates, consults the Oracle of Reviews,
Weighs desire against prudence like scales of justice.
Yet finally, with trembling fingers, the sacred "Place Order"
Is pressed, and victory, bittersweet, is claimed.
Tracking Numbers become heralds of future joy,
While the Wallet weeps silently in mortal despair.
Book V: The Festival of Netflix and Snacks
Mock Epic: The Feast of Infinite Episodes
Sing, O Couch, altar of mortal indulgence,
Where Heroes gather for the sacred Festival of Screens.
Popcorn rains like golden confetti, soda flows as nectar,
While episodes unfold, endless, seductive, divine.
The Hero lounges, remote a sceptre of power,
Skipping intros, fast-forwarding trials,
Immersed in plots, characters, and cliffhangers,
Until night wanes and eyelids droop like fallen banners.
Yet even as credits roll and sleep calls,
The Festival's glory lingers in hearts and stomachs,
A mythic ode to rest, indulgence, and absurd modern valor.
Epilogue: The Modern Mortal Triumphant
Thus ends the saga of Heroes in the age of screens,
Where every mundane trial is epic in scale:
Battles with Alarm Clocks, quests for Wi-Fi,
Labyrinthine journeys on public transport,
The allure and terror of online shopping,
And feasts of Netflix and Snacks.
For in every modern mortal lies a hero,
Waging wars, conquering chaos, and surviving absurdity,
And each small victory, though fleeting, shines eternal
In the annals of the Everyday Epic.