Boris Johnson's Candidate Rap Poem by David Shoestring

Boris Johnson & The Candidate Rap

I'm counting on you
As an Etonian ‘old boy',
To win this constituency,
To win the joy
And the adulation of the crowd.
So, stand up straight;
Stand up proud;
Proud, to look the world right in the eye.
Speak out to the people;
Speak out high,
High!
Above their heads
With spirited words
They'll take to their beds.
And the very next day,
They'll tell their friends,
They'll say, with pride,
That they were there in that hall
When you made that speech,
And they could see in your face
That here was a man
Who couldn't be bought;
Who'd speak out for the people;
Speak out what he ought.
And after the vote,
(So your Agent tells me)
You'll win the count,
And then you'll be free
To speak in the House
On matters of State,
As your conscience, perhaps,
Or your Constituents dictate.
But a word to the wise
From a cunning old pro:
It's your career you must think of,
As I'm sure you know,
And if its Ministerial Office you seek as reward,
With chauffeured limousine, and trips abroad,
I need to be sure that you're on my side,
And that constituents and conscience
Can be put to one side
For the truth is known to you,
As it is to me……
You'll vote with your party,
For Brexit;
And Me!

Love, Boris
xx