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Breathing

Rating: 5.0
Night clings like splinters. Sleep spins dreams of yellow air.

Brittle breathing raps lungs, wraps bones.
Breath a cackle, exhalation a storm.
The house creaks, sighs; bored with this wheezing panic.

I will sleep.
Will proves no match for this demon.
Sweat damps too-warm sheets.
Pinned under cloying blankets, I'm trapped.
I slough them.
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COMMENTS
Amberlee Carter 15 May 2005
some lines are more powerful than others....overall, you have a strong beginnin and strong finish...well done
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