mandy faye

Rookie (10/24/1987 / CALIFORNIA)

Broken Heart - Poem by mandy faye

I felt soft hands gently lift
and put me where it’s warm -
against her breasts to suckle,
I felt their welcome form

My face was buried there
with no desire to depart
until my world collapsed
and caused my broken heart

My Father’s voice so stern
to my Mother as he spoke,
he didn’t know my tiny heart
was hurting as it broke

My comfort gone,
detached from what I feel
tranquility replaced by fear,
disturbed by what is real

I sensed a peace depart,
yet in subconscious residing near,
anguish rose in my convulsive heart
and destroyed what I held dear

Shaken, in my sensitive inner core,
I longed to be restored
but no one heard my destitute voice
crying, as I implored

A puppy!
My hand reached out to touch
inquiringly to that ball of fur
A new sensation as I clutch

once done, to retreat
and remove it from my mind
would deprive me of this pleasure
of a childish kind

How could this tiny creature
be cause of monstrous surge
and such stimulation without shame
bring satisfaction to this urge?

This close companion
grew with me - my first friend
in playful loyalty,
of devotion there was no end

until he strayed from his world
(there’s no logic to his flaws)
this shattering departure
came without apparent cause

It’s from this sad experience
I would hasten to depart,
but now it’s imbedded
deep in my broken heart

I called my best friend
almost every day
we had so much in common,
but to my dismay

when he died, it was I who lost
the most because I live
with disturbing memories as my cost,
it was then I didn’t give

of myself, I kept them hid...
feelings, sealed, not to depart
as turmoil churned within
this lonely, broken heart

Weren’t friends to be forever?
I couldn’t understand
and in my youthful mind I asked
my conscience, am I able to withstand?

When they buried him,
I chose to stay away
and put it from my mind
but troubling thoughts would not defray

as I shielded my shameful fault
it led me to conclude
it wasn’t me, but my broken heart
which prompted my seclude


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Poem Submitted: Sunday, March 19, 2006



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