I looked at you and smiled the other day
I though you would see
But you didn't I said I love you and waited for what you'd say
I thought you'd hear me
But you didn't
I asked you to come outside and play ball with me
I thought you'd follow me
But you didn't
I drew a picture just for you to see
I thought you'd save it forever
But you didn't
I made a fort for us in the woods
I though you'd camp out with me
But you didn't
I found some worms and stuff for fishing
I thought you'd wanna go with me
But you didn't
I need you just to talk to-to share my thoughts with
I thought you'd want to
But you didn't
I told you about this game hoping you'd show up to play
I thought you'd surely come
But you didn't
I asked you to share my youth with me
I thought you'd want to
But you couldn't
My country called me off to war
You asked me to come home safely
But I didn't
I love the way you wrote the poem. Deep and wise with Great imagery. Excellent write. I rate it 10. Thanks for sharing..... Please read and rate my poem 'A humble complaint' on page 2. Please use the search box by typing the name of the poem if the page doesn't open with the title of the poem.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
This poem is almost exactly the same as 'But you didn't ' by Merrill Glass. It is the poem of a woman (Merrill Glass herself) who's husband had to fight in the Vietnam war and he never returned home. So I won't rate your poem at all. Because I'm afraid you were simply trying to copy the idea of another beautiful poem.
i believe it is intentionally written that way because of the perspective. If you noticed in Merrill Glass' poem it's written in the woman's perspective, but in this case it is the contrary where the perspective is that of the man. In my interpretation this was written in the idea of a complementing piece such as a response poem.