Can'T Forget You Poem by kendyll brown

i cant believe
iv waited so long
iv pushed you out of my mind
trying to forget
but your sneaky,
and you come back
i allowed myself a small amount
to think about you
and out all you come

everything at once
rushing back into my mind
my heart and soul
my deepest desires
tempting me again
this time with everything
offering your assistence
pain and pleasure
saying its not an addiction

my cravings
telling me its ok to want you
calling out my name
pulling me closer
closer to grabbing you
closer to my destruction
and redemption
knowing once i see you
then its all over

like bursting into flames
i'll slip away
a beautiful mistake
you take whats inside
like freeing a beast
looking deep in my soul
i know i want you
i cant help but look at you
and i know its like

like
lightening
running
through
my veins
everytime
i look
at
you

show me what its like
to feel alive again,
to feel anything at all
i want pain
yes lots of it
and pleasure
i want that too
and both combined you make me feel
to much at a time

i hold you in my hand
and feel u slice my skin open
the coolness of metal
for a moment, is all i feel
shivers running down my spine
feelinng my quick pulse
and erratic heart beat
as you cut into me
deeper

the blood a crimson red
its quick
all of it rushing out
i try not to make a mess
but nothings helping
drip drip drip
running off my arm
it hits the floor
looking at the color of red on my floor

my head gets a sudden rush
and how i feel so alive all over again
so relieved, iv been freed
my hearts beating erratically
but slowly it returns to normal
soon enough i catch my breath
i didnt realize id been holding
i stumble a little
and let go of the counter

with a smile on my face
i count 1,2,3,4.....
knowing deep in me
that i cant forget you
everything i feel
is beacause
you are a part of me
and yet, forever
iv known this

washing up
i pull down my sleeve
i count 1,2,3,4
breathing deep
i open the door
let out a sigh
i know
this is my
addiction