Can'T You See? Poem by Elizabeth Muller

Time and time again I feel like no one here does care
I feel like I am all alone, whithered in despair
And when I stop to think again about this one dear boy
A pain inside me hurts me close; It's aim is to destroy

It puts me down and makes me feel like I'm not worth a cent
It yells at me and says that I am crooked and I'm bent
'You're fat and ugly, no need to live, ' it will say to me.
'You're only friend is but a noose.' as I fall down to one kneww

A tear has trickled down my cheek. It hurts to hear these words.
But now the tears start to come down, like cattle in their herds
How could this pain of started? Was it family, was it friends?
I do not know the answer, I just hope that it all ends.

It haunts me when I'm walking and it haunts me in my sleep.
And thinking of these awful words just makes me want to weep.
'You're fat, you're ugly, ' it will say. It hurts so much inside.
I feel like I have had enough. It's time to stop this ride.

My emotions they go up and down. One day I'm feeling blue.
The next I feel so wonderful, like all my dreams come true.
But then those words come back to take me down a peg or two.
And I'm back to the beginning. Feeling warped and feeling blue.

I'm going to stop it one day soon. Don't know when or don't know where.
I'd ask for help but I'm pretty sure that no one gives a care.
I think I stand somewhat a chance but I am not for sure.
Maybe I'll just see the doc. and he will surely have a cute.

Don't tell me I'm a coward! It's a trouble, you deal with it!
You're so perfect, you don't understand how hard it is to live it!
Please don't talk to me like that, I get it bad enough already.
You make my heart hurt twice as much. My foundation is unsteady.

As the voices started ringing through my head, I sat and cried.
I yelled and screamed for them to stop. Just then they slowly died.
When I started thinking of good thoughts, the bad came back again.
So, I tried to conjure up the courage I once had way back when.

If you're anything like I am, you will know how hard this is.
To live your life like I do, with the voices just like this.
But if you keep your spirits high, and let your hopes just soar.
I assure you, o' dear friend of mine, that you will hear no more.