Can You Understand? Poem by Elizabeth Muller

You're supposed to stop when it starts to hurt the most
So why can't I? You can. Do you have to boast?
It's easy for you; to just watch and stare
You can't tell the difference. Or maybe you just don't care?

Yeah, that must be it! You got what you wanted
You're leaving now. You'll use what you know from me and flaunt it
It pains to think of you touching another girl
But what can I do? Life's unfair. It makes me want to hurl

I feel you took advantage of the fact. I'm used
You took and rarely gave back. I'm abused
I'm special one day, and non-existant the next. I'm confused
I feel so dumb

I know I have a good personality. And that's great
But you want a perfect body. I feel like such a dead weight
I can't give you what you want. I'm working the inside out
It's all just not physical. That's not what it's about

Can't you see? I know you notice. But do you listen?
Do you take everything into consideration.
It kills me but I don't show it. I can't speak my mind
If it's mean, I won't say it. Is it because I'm too kind?

My love language is giving. That's how I show I care
I put myself in these situations. to blame you is something I can't bare
So, I blame me, not you. I'll live the life God wants me to.
I'm trying, I really am. But this is no time to argue

Believe me when I say that I tried to stay distant
It worked for a while. but maybe it's best I just stay absent
I don't want you gone though. Can't I make up my mind?
I know what it is. The emotions make me blind