Clown Lovin Poem by Tommy Blaschke

this pain I feel is inside the pain I can not hide
it will always be there to make me wait for you
I can not see it is going black I can not find that one way back
I turn around and see not light I’m dead and gone and with all my might
I look around I am coming to but the face I see is not you
it is the doctor who just saved me I guess this is how it has to be.

this pain I hold cant be locked away
the love I have has been forever put away
I see your face and I crack a smile
your lovely face makes my heart into a pile
you know I used to love you and now I got to wait
but till that day I will forever be fill with hate
hate for everything that I never was
hate for all the things he does
hate for things that were not meant to be
hate for things that I can no longer see

Show me love I show you hate
I can finally get to this final gate
I can’t pass through I don’t know why
But I remember that time I almost died
I seen this gate so dark so cold
I see the walls ten thousand-year mold
No one can get me I am alone
No one to love me nowhere for a home

That life was not my heaven but only my own personal hell
I passed the test and now I can hear the ringing of the bell
This place I’m at no one can tell how much it feels good to die
The people with me set me free so I can go and fly
Shangri-La I have come home to be with all my friends
The ones that counted that told me they’d be with me until the end.