Commitment Poem by Samantha McKinnon

Commitment
Is not something I fear.
I dream of having someone
Who wants me
And only me,
Someone who loves me,
Someone who won't shatter built trust,
Someone to love and cherish.
I do not fear
Waking up next to the same person each day
And watching the sun rise in their eyes instead of the panes of a window.
I do not fear a ring upon my finger.
I am certainly not afraid of forever.
What I am afraid of
Is crying and knowing only one person can make it stop.
I'm afraid
Of someone knowing why I cry,
Of someone seeing who I am
And what created it.
I'm afraid
Of having to miss someone because after years of waking up with them
They're not there one morning
Because I wasn't enough.
I'm afraid
Of having someone
And not wanting anyone else
Because they may want another around.
I'm afraid
Of having someone hold my hand
And relying on them.
I'm afraid
That someone will say they love me too
And revoke it.
I'm afraid that the force of love
Will make my walls crash down
And instead of brushing away the debris
My lover will take the mess
And stack it upon me
Back where it seems to belong.
I'm afraid
I'll wind up back where I was
As an eight year old girl
In a vacant home
With no one to hold me
And no one to make me okay,
With no one who loves me.
So no,
I do not fear commitment.
I'm afraid of love
And I'm afraid of attachment
Simply because
No one ever seems
Truly attached to me.