Confession Number 1 - For A Love Poem by Niamh Gold

I'm not good at confessions,
At least not speaking out loud.
The words all get jumbled, fragmented,
Until I can't make a sound.
But hidden behind the ink,
I feel safely disguised.
It's easier when you're not in front of me,
Trying to meet my eyes.
There's a lot I've wanted to tell you,
But before I start, please believe me when I say...
I never asked for this to happen,
Sometimes I wish it could all go away.
I had no right to see you,
As anything more than a friend.
Especially not when she tells me,
She will love you until the end.
It started on a Monday,
The first of November to be precise.
I never guessed I would fall so hard,
Would pay such big a price.
I told myself it was nothing,
Just the mischiefs of my mind.
I promise that I tried my hardest,
But it didn't take me long to find...
That I care more for you,
Than I had ever believed I could.
You mean the world to me,
Though I never believed you would.
There are times when I think you feel,
The very same tugs and pangs at you heart.
The way you smile when we're together,
Reminds me of how I felt at the start.
But how could ever possibly be,
Anything more than what we are.
When it would mean losing a precious friend,
Who has helped me to get this far.
So you see, now I must wait,
Must wait for time to go on.
Wait for her to find someone else,
For her feelings for you to be gone.
Maybe, just maybe,
One day in the spring.
I will tell you this out loud,
Let my words finally take wing.
Until then I will let myself be happy,
The kind of happy I only feel with you.
And then one day these clouds will clear,
Leaving us a sky of endless blue.