Confusion Poem by Connie Leigh Lindsay

I feel as if a black cloud is over my head slowly
growing darker and closer.I'm afraid that soon
it will surround me and not even the faintest
light will pass through.That it will swallow me
and I will never be able to escape or even have
the strength to try to.

I know that I shouldn't feel this way.I have
everything that I ever wanted.Yet there is still
something missing, some part of me maybe.
Something inside me is saying that I have lost
an important part of myself, a part that I didn't
even know was there.

Why can't I be happy with what I have? Why do
I need something more? Why do I always seem to
feel lonely even tho I'm surrounded by people,
people who try to understand and talk to me.This
part of me shouldn't be so important.I should be able
to move past it so why can't I seem to do so?

What must I do to break through this for good? Should
I talk to someone? Is there something that I need to do?
Is this my way of telling myself that this isn't really what
I want after all? Do I already know what to do and
just too afraid to admit it? Am I going to find out in time
to save myself from the fate that is before me?

What if I find out my path is supposed to be different
than yours? Will I be strong enough to actually leave
you behind? Or does this cloud mean that my life is
actually about to end and I need to prepare everyone?
There are so many possibilities, how will I know which one?
Will I be ready when the time comes to decide?

What happens if I'm not ready? Will I miss my true path?
Can I make the right choice? What if I have already missed
it? Will I be able to find it again? What if I decide to leave
then realize that I was actually on the right path from the
beginning, will I be able to come back? So many questions, so few
answers.Maybe I should step back and take it one day at a time.
Surely the answers will come eventually, I hope.