Cursed Poem by James Casey

Cursed

Stepping out the door
Taking deep breaths as I soak in the sun
Shutting the door behind me
Part of a group - no - just one

The tightening in my chest
Fear taking control
The clenching in my stomach
And back inside I go

Leaning against the door
Gasping for breath
Cursing my weakness
Cursing myself inside my head

I open the bottle
Take another pill
Wait for the fear to subside
Inside, I know, it never will

Nothing offers comfort
Tears flowing down my cheeks
Cursing myself once again
Damn this fear that makes me weep

Out the door again
Trying one more time
The lengths that I go through
The struggles carried on in my mind

Unable to live a normal life
The outside world swallowing me whole
These walls around me my only protection
Fear of everything else, makes me cold


Jim 1996