Custard Poem by Paul Reed

What is it with top chefs?
They seem obsessed with presentation
A' squiggle' and a 'dot' here and there
Using double cream like embrocation

They put a small dollop of sauce on the plate
And gaze down as if they just drew it
Then they get a gnarly big spoon
And smear the thing right through it

The end result is horrendous
Enough to turn one to sobriety
Like something someone has stepped in
Of the dog and pavement variety

Custard is their worst malfunction
They smear a tiny bit on the plate
What I want is a steaming great bowlful
Or a separate jug- full would be just great

Custard was born to immerse things in
It's merits I genuinely expound
Give me a minimum three inch depth of the stuff
Chefs- don't tiptoe around!

Forget drawing fancy pictures with your dish
Give custard-lovers what they crave
Slosh on a gallon of runny custard
Go on, chefs - be brave!