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Damn

wordless thoughts, memories scrawled thru out my mind, feelings so

distraught, as i slowly unwind, with nothing more to do with my time. for
awhile i was mute, no poems came from me, now in total dispute, from

what my eyes did not see. i let another use me again, letting him in, and

to fill my heart within. but he stompped all over my self esteem, right

now my smile falls short of a gleam, thought we were perfect together,

well to me thats what is seemed. everything was going so good, but

it crumbled away, like i knew it would. the pains unbearable, but i seem

to manage, from too many times of being hit n damaged. mental abuse

was the worst of all, planting thoughts in my head to subdue the tears

that fall. all the accusations, i guess they were true, not telling me what

you were REALLY up to, and not knowing of the mischievous acts you

do. i dont know how to make myself see, that he truly didn't love me.

but of course theres always doubt, he did things you'd know nothing

about. we laughed we fought but always after a smile it brought. it

seemed so perfect n yet so unreal, and i dont kno how to make myself

as hard as steel. old habits die hard and ive realized this today, becus

yesterday i felt i could move on but the other way ive swayed. i want you

in my life, that thought doesnt make me think twice. but i relly want sum

one that s gonna be true to me, becus that what i am... but over n over

i choose the wrong ones... damn.
Audrey O'shea
Saturday, April 21, 2007
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1/26/2021 10:30:19 AM # 1.0.0.442