Dante Encounters An Everyday Dumbass Poem by Aiden Bird

The crime is: somebody steals his bed
They climb in through the window while he is asleep
They move his bed away from the wall. He is in the bed asleep, a hangover after his wild party earlier that evening. The criminals then start cutting a hole in the wall that is perfect dimensions of the bed itself. They pull the bed outside. Then they cut a hole in the tennis court fence. Finally they start working out how to wake him up to ask a question. After tickling poking and shaking the bed, a sudden noise catches his and the criminals ears; Sirens. He woke up and before he could let out a word, one criminal asked 'would you luike to play tennis? ? ? ' he yells 'HELLLLLP! ! ! ! ! ' and they run away 5 meters after being tazerred by both police officers then taken into custody. leaving him and the bed outside with a hole in the wall of the house and the tennis court.