Darkness Of Rebellion Poem by Waldo Malan

O how dark is the darkness of rebellion
A point of cold, no return, emptiness
My friend, how do I turn back?
How do I close the door that I have left open?
How do I expel the guests that I invited?

How dark is the darkness of rebellion
How wide the door opened to disobedience
How raucous are the devourers,
The cruel, yet invited demons
That make evil look beautiful
That perverts the essence of goodness!
I am a surfer without a surfboard
Surrounded by waves I don't understand
Immersed in the iciness of loneliness
Bobbing on an ocean of my choosing!
How this brings me to a place
Where I pray for the release of
A sudden relief from pain
In the whiteness of death.

How terrible to fall into the anger
Of a Living God,
How frightening to be faced,
Not by grace, but by the wrath
Of the Holy One!

O God, o Friend, how do I close the door?
How do I return to a state of grace
After denying the power You bestowed?
How do I soften the hardness of a heart of stone,
How do I make the silent rock cry out in praise?

Again, and again, and again
I cry to You
I cry to You
I cry to You