Dead Man Walking Poem by Clyde King

'Dead man walking! '
Announces the guard
As the condemned man
Is led to his execution
In the prison's gas chamber

In a week they'll be
Saying that about me. I'm
Scheduled to die for
A crime I did not do.
They found me guilty
Of killing my sixteen year
Old girlfriend when I
Caught her with another man.

We were engaged but
I caught her cheating on me.
So the jury saw a motive
For my killing her.
She was pregnant with
Our baby then. The jury
Convicted me on circumstantial
Evidence that it was a crime
Of passion. I loved her, I'd never
Hurt her. I was eighteen
At the time and that's how long
I've been rotting in here.

My attorney has spent all my appeals.
Now he's trying to get a stay
Because the evidence is flimsy.
But I don't care now. I don't want to die
But I'd rather be dead than spend
Another day in a six by eight foot
Hamster cage.
This is not living, it's existing,
I guess you could say it's an
Existential dilemma. Escaping
A meaningless life by killing
Yourself is the coward's way.

My name is Cyrus James,
Named after my grandfather.
The guards and my friends call
Me Cy.

I hear that lethal injections are
Painless. I want to feel pain
Right up to my last breath. I want to feel
Something until the last moment.
My first week here, before I was
Put on death row, I was gang raped
In the showers. It wasn't about sex.
It was about the power such men
Had over you, that they could do it
Almost any time they wanted to.
I didn't rat them out, kept my mouth
Shut and took it like a man. They left me
Alone after I was put in solitary
Confinement and could shower alone.

My best friend Tommy got his ticket
Punched a month ago. I miss him.
We talked about everything.
And he taught me to read and write.
Now I wish I could read but the guards
Took away my books. I think
They hated me because I was more
Educated than they were. It doesn't matter now.
I remember much and could recite poems and
Prose from memory. They could not
Take away my freedom to choose
My attitudes and reactions to their brutality.

Texas law doesn't play when you're
Convicted of capital murder. They
Don't give a damn if you may be innocent.
When it's time to take that walk, I hope
My legs won't buckle and my knees
Get weak. I especially don't want to piss myself.

Soon I'll hear 'Dead man walking.'
Not much of a send off. My fellow inmates
Might sing hymns or beat on the bars.
They'll say 'Farewell Cy, we were glad
To know you.' And I'll reply 'Keep your
Sunny side up always.'
Who knows what dreams may come.