Dead Veg Poem by Richard Lee

The peas and beans lived in the hills
They lived on soup and cantaloupe
Although their play was often raucous
The peas round features made them cautious

The beans made light of falling over
But peas roll faster and much further
While beans thought peas were having frolics
The beans flat shape made peas quite jealous

One day while rolling in the glade
A bean was overheard, he said...
If we can tempt the peas to follow
We'll bounce and roll them down the hollow

That way both hill and glade are ours
We'll feast on moss and pretty flowers
The peas that eves-dropped on such banter
Shivered, shook and what came after...

Beans colluded in hushed tones
Peas knees shook, well if they'd had bones
And peas were scared and peas were frozen
To the spot, as they'd been chosen

The next day came, as dawn is dawn
And beans were vocal in their plan
Come join us peas we'll have a game
It's by the hollow down the lane

As peas resigned themselves to fate
One pea stood up keen to orate
Wait just one tick, one second here
We peas are not just petit poise

We'll go along with all these beans
Who's sneaky plan to cheese us peas
It's just a rouse to can our rights
I'll not be canned without a fight

Peas strolled with beans down to the hollow
But peas have plans and are not shallow
As the shiny sun shone on the peas
They cooked and ripened with great ease

It did not take much longer friend
For the mushy peas to stick and blend
As beans must soak for so much time
They only hardened in the shine

When peas grouped up in two's and threes
They would not roll despite the beans
Attempts to tip or trick to follow
Them down into the murky hollow

In truth the beans began to anger
Their shrunk and shiny bodies slipped
Right past the peas towards the edge
They saw the end; They were ‘dead veg'

The beans cried out to peas with pleas
We're sorry peas despite your knees
Will you forgive and pull us out
But peas were mush and had no clout

Their fate was sorted, nowhere to hide
The beans were doomed, began to slide
Their legs were short their shoulders narrow
Their last days finished in that hollow

As night drew in and darkness fell
The beans again began to yell
Please help us peas we'll be good friends
The peas were cool and broke their bonds

We'll help you beans if you are able
To sit with us around the table
The beans complied with all their wishes
They'd be quite nice and not so vicious

So peas and beans now get on well
They bathe in rice and that's quite swell
They're often seen on hills and glades
Relaxed on dishes wearing shades