Dear Distant Dad Poem by Chelsea Petty

Dear Distant Dad



Lately the words that I hear,
They sever and hurt my ears.
They cut through my heart
And pierce my soul.
Vulgarity poisons my spirit
And sharpens the twisting knife.
These words that harm me
Come from one I hoped loved me.
For years I have not known you
Nor have you known me.
Through pictures, looks were exchanged.
Through sporadic phone calls,
Voices were understood.
This was the extent of our relationship.
You, the distant Disneyland dad.
Me, the far away child-no-more.
I don't understand why you say what you say.
Do you mean to hurt me or
Are you just that way?
Did you know I'm sensitive about my clothes,
My hair, and the way I look?
Did you know feet bother me for no reason at all?
And excessive criticism makes me feel very small?
You laugh at my quirks
And the way that I talk.
You misunderstand everything I say
You won't let me explain
Before you begin to complain.
All this and still. Still.
Still I love you, still.
I have never known
What a dad is.
Whether you're at fault,
I know not.
I only know we've been given chance two.
A chance to fix what doesn't have to
Always stay with me.
I've always wanted a father.
I've dreamed of any male figure.
I chose you and you chose me.
Not on purpose, of course, but it was meant to be.
God makes no mistakes,
Though at times I've wondered.
I want you as my father.
Will you take me as you daughter?
I want you to know the truth:
That through all your faults,
I know that I'm not perfect either.
God forgave me,
So I forgive you.
I'll always love you and wish for your love.
My promise to you and to my Father above.

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