Death & Disillusionment Poem by Patrick Schiefen

We were alive in some other life's February
& we were scared of the unknown
but not enough to - y'know - know more.

Maybe now is not the time
for me to paint the past in a picture of warm nostalgia

or for me to miss drinking Tom Collinses with you
when I now know to say that I don't even like whiskey.

We thought ourselves covert rebels
but only from under the yellow of your apartment's light fixtures
& only for long enough for us to feel less bored.

A lot has changed for me.
I'm still bored - bored of people, bored of places,
bored of whatever it is we have labeled, life -

but I just really care less about all of it.

We had our heads turned away
but only because we knew there was something
to turn our heads away from.

Am I saying that it's better to
look it in the face and scream - I see you! ! ! -?

That, of course, comes with its own consequences.

We were alive at some point (if my memory serves me right)
& what the hell did we do about it?
We waited to die - so we did.

I even began death by stumbling upon ways to waste it.