December 23rd Poem by Angel Neri

I don't remember the first time I saw her. I know we were both in the same room, within
a few feet of each other. It was probably a friday night.
I'm sure the bands played one after another, and the drink I held in my right hand was too hot for me to bother drinking it.

See, I remember clearly what I ordered: a large chai latte because that is all that I afforded, and the outfit I was wearing, which I thought looked quite alright.
There are pictures from that night.
Ask my friends.
I'm not lying, we were there.

But I don't remember her.

And it's not surprising that I dont, because most of the time I dont really pay attention;
But I feel like I would have noticed her swaying side, to side, in the back extension of the building
but I didnt.

Which begins to beg the question:
Was I just not paying attention?
or
Was she simply nothing special?

I'm more partial to the former,
yet I still can't help but wonder.


Though now that I mention it, I do remember one thing. I was sitting at a table, being sad about the rain, when from the left side i saw a girl looking far too pretty for me to abstain from staring as she walked between the colors hanging from the wall and the clinking coming from the small bar that stood across.

But now I know that if given the option,
I would have paid whatever fortune
to have her look back at me.
And I would have jumped into the ocean,
If that were to have given me
the notion that she'd remember me.

And though he'd brought his girlfriend along, I didn't really think it wrong to look my mate straight in the eye both nodding in agreement as she walked by.

Now it's been nearly a year since that fleeting memory, yet here I am dedicating an entire journal entry to the image of her sitting on thatbench being back-lit by the splendor of the christmas tree

And it might have been her laughter, or the fact that it was winter. It very well could be the way she looked in her gray sweater—I don't know.

But this time I do remember