Deep Depression Poem by Nathanael Verrill

I can't drown today the normal way
I can't curl up today and sleep it away
my music isn't ringing my immaterial soul, my soul is sluggish and grey
I can't break hold, the hold this has on me.
my eyes can't see past right now and tomorrow, and tomorrow can't accept yesterday.
this pit that is my stomach keeps turning,
I bend at the middle and natural gravitation pulls my head closer to the spinning floor to protect my pain.
my voice has grown soft, to near a whisper while every sound has grown louder piercing my consciousness.
Nothing holds my attention, yet everything has it.
the words on the page before me jumble and twist as I attempt to read my way to a different place.
the words are dancing in a myriad of ink and texture.
Dancing by flickering firefight.
The wax drips, the smoke and flame rises casting thousands of wicked laughing shadows. This candle I am, consuming myself and air. I can't tell if more of me is going into hot nothingness or more dripping down to inhabit the cold ground having lost my form.