Barlot ...

Dignified Death Rhyme

Shall I die before my time
My rhymes will be all that’s left of me
Unpublished and unappreciated
I’ve made it…
All for nothing.
Crass and dry
Condescending and cruel
Fueled by…
Everything I never knew.
And everyone I did.
All reminiscing of a better time
When wine was consumed by the crate
A time when the date was unnecessary
And the time itself never was
Never is…
Do.
If only I knew what I would lose
My liver, a kidney, and well…
Dignity.
Though now I see, the time’s far gone
Alone with a stomach lining
Whining about death
Breathing the breath I exhaled as a child
I’m back, I’m back
Weak, timid, mild,
Unpublished and unappreciated.
The beat played on til fingers bled
The beast of which will soon be dead
Pessimism gone to my head
Oh love how much I do regret:
I fucked a man who called it sport
Came up short in academics
Plagued by an epidemic of idiocy
Which, by all means, seemed appropriate at the time
So many years of selfishness
Only caring about losing myself in the whirlwind of substances
But in this instance…
Karma has carried through.
Too much damage to recycle and repeat
Concussion caused by chemical defeat
Repercussions reminding me just how pathetic
One becomes when they start to “get it”
But back to the beginning
The room has started spinning
Though I wish I could finish writing
Against death, I am not winning.
It ends where it started
Lips parted for the final phrase,
“I swear on my life, I loved you til my dying day.”

Poem Submitted: Thursday, September 6, 2007
Poem Edited: Tuesday, April 5, 2011

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