Dirty Dolly - Poem by Brian Routh
Dirty Dolly lost his lolly
dropped it while he rode the trolly.
the lolly melted on the floor
the lolly stick fell through the door.
Dirty Dolly slipped on the juice
as he fell his trousers loose
dropped down around his knees
in his pocket he found some cheese.
He took a bite as he hit the floor
and the cheese made his stomach roar
he farted such a mighty fart
it was so loud that it made him start.
Lying there he had a thought
'a cuppa tea and apple torte'
he raised his pants and zipped his zipper
changed his socks and ate a kipper.
He blew his nose down the drain
then he ran to catch the train
he got there late and caught the bus
squeezed a spot and popped some puss.
when he got to the other end
he'd driven the driver round the bend
singing songs and burping loud
farting farts of yellow clouds.
But people liked Dirty Dolly
just because he was so jolly
he had no fear of being smelly
or dropping food onto his belly.
He didn't care if people laughed
if all who met him thought him daft
He loved to play and make a mess
show his bottom to the press.
He liked to swear and play the fool
pee and fart right in the pool
Dirty Dolly was a smarty
who ran amok at every party.
People thought him very bad
because he loved to make them mad
He pulled a prank at every turn
lit his farts and made them burn.
He raises hell and creates trouble
farts in the bath to make it bubble
laughs and burps right in your face
stinks the room up in your space.
Never give a sticky lolly
to the that naughty Dirty Dolly
you'll soon regret your act of kindness
and realizes it's total blindness.
Cross the road and walk away
see Dirty Dolly another day
wait until he's sleeping sound
that's time to come around.
That's the time to wash his clothes
but wear a clothes peg on your nose
sneak away before he wakes
before his farting starts to quake.
he won't thank you for being clean
he'll burp and fart and act real mean
when he's in a better mood
covering himself with food.
when he's back to being jolly
back to being Dirty Dolly
he'll sing and burp and make you grin
with lumps of food stuck on his chin.
for all his naughty little ways
he'll make you smile throughout each day
just because he is so jolly
that dearest little Dirty Dolly.
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