Discovery Poem by Thomas Thompson

November 11,2012; revised August 5 - through September30,2013

Discovery

Who am I
The man screamed
Though no one listening

His voice echoing from rim to rim
Setting off shock upon after shock
Within the canyons of his mind

The man older
Somewhat wiser than before
Is lost
Cannot find his way

His moral compass astray
His wits no longer about him
Since that event in May
Where mortality seemed so close
Before he knew it was upon him that day

The searing aftershocks breaking down barricaded doors
Releasing memories long forgotten
Yet never really far away
As they silently ransacked his life

The rumbling continued
Rediscovering trauma from long ago
Where death and danger lay all around
Day and night night and day
With little regard for those who stayed or for those who left

Tho' those who left not necessarily whole

The useless shattered broken doors
No longer able to contain the onslaught of emotions suddenly breaking free
Now unexpectedly flowing throughout the traumatized man
As he stood caught off guard near mortally wounded

With no places left to hide
Nor defenses to ward against the emotional tsunami cascading within
Like exploding fire racing from dry tree to dry tree

As long dormant emotions jackhammering him to his very core

Openly for all to to see as he slowly picked himself up
Struggling to understand how and why this happened

As he begins to realize
Comprehend
The raw painful emotions flowing freely
Have always been within

Simmering

Percolating

Lurking

Holding him back

His true self buried deep in the quicksand of his mind

Neither trusting nor capable of love
Emotions scarcely surface deep
Empathy not possible

From the man who could not relate
To the suffering of those around
Always striving to help and love the wounded man

Tho' he understood not the helping hands nor the offered love

Even from the one who knew not at first of his anguish long locked away
Loved him tho' he did not know how to return the love of him she had
Nor from those who followed
Their love no match against the rusted doors long frozen in place

Trapping raw emotions straining to be released
Wreaking havoc within without

Time eking by as he thrashed to and fro
No longer able to constrain the throbbing darkness
Nor understanding his mouthless screams were heard by those around

Incapable of comprehending the widening gulf
Causing strife as he would not return the love so freely given
While she frantically searched for the key to heal the man

Standing silent desperate in his pain
Numbed from the fires raging in his mind
Barely able to check the rumbling quakes that never seemed to end
Scarcely receding as time crawled along

Until that day in May
When he told himself it's OK
It could have been worse

As he had said so many times before

Fighting back the knowledge if he'd of veered left instead of right
He would not be here today struggling to correct
His moral compass struck awry from those events long ago

Where the ones who survived were not necessarily whole
As they struggled with never ending pain

While those who love him wonder

Will it ever end

Will he ever come home

Tommy